pR3CiOus MeMoRiEs -

29 May 2006

I'm back to post le.. hmm.. this year seems like a short year.. haha.. so soon it's gonin to b june le.. a few more exams.. and a few more days in skool.. and comes O's.. haha.. life for mi had been simple.. though not realli very very interestin and enjoyable.. but i made the best out of it.. i guess this is call growin up.. haha.. listen to songs.. play games.. laugh and joke.. haha.. quite fun.. as for love matters.. i guess i realli had let it go le.. happiness is a feelin i hope for all.. haha.. feels good lo.. haha.. oh.. ya.. advice to all.. life alone is not as bad as it seems.. but... if u r in a relationship good for u.. cuz all of us need someone close to care for u.. and for u to care for.. haha.. nothin much to tag.. haha.. oh.. last thursday i had a so call official Graduation ceremony for my NCC.. haha.. so many memories.. haha.. but still i can always go back if i want to.. haha.. this holiday hmm.. not much a holiday.. haha.. cuz almost everyday muz go back to skool haha.. do art.. and also study.. talkin about art i have tonnes of work not done yet.. also dunno can finish a not.. haha.. too many ideas too beautiful... but too little time.. haha.. Yawn.. so sian.. yup.. muz give prayers (though i am a free thinker) but still prayers to shareen.. hope she is well haha.. hmm.. guess i do have friends tat i didnt realli knew they took mi for.. haha.. unlike some tat i take as good friend.. tend to stab u so many times and yet u still forgive and care for the friend.. haha.. u all dun have to ask mi who cuz i wont say.. haha.. yup.. feel so hurt lo.. haha.. but still i will still treat the friend as one.. as he is not as bad as it seems.. haha... so i guess write till here ba.. haha.. nothin much to write le.. i will b back one day to post more k.. dun worry wont b too long.. haha.. Nite.. zZzZZzzZZ

11:25 AM

24 May 2006

hi.. hmm.. icicle.. few days didnt blog le.. haha.. nothin much to write though.. how bout we back track.. today.. in school play lo wad else.. haha.. den went to hougang mall saw so many people.. haha.. saw my god-mei also.. haha.. change a lot.. hmm.. ok.. that's today.. lo.. nothin much.. ystday and today went to keng hao house.. haven being hangin out for quite sometime le.. hmm.. realli hard to juggle myself between so many friends.. cuz muz go with this the other one say i pang sei.. go with the other one.. the den will also say the same things.. cant anyone understand my difficulty.. hmm.. ok lo.. the rest nothin much le.. quite tired.. sleepy to b exact.. oh.. ya.. there is something i tot of.. tat is some people tends to forget ur bloody presence once they are with those they love.. but they have never think tat when they are bored who was the one who try his best to find topic to chat.. who tries and tries to cheer them up? they juz tend to stop replyin ur msg.. dun chat to u.. den even visit ur blog to tag.. this is life i guess.. everyone is like this ba? mayb? i think i am one of them too.. haha.. hmm yup very bored lo.. goin to sleep soon.. nearly fall asleep in the bus.. haha.. kk.. nite nite.. i go load song den sleep le.. BLEAH!!

12:23 PM

18 May 2006

HAPPY BIRTDAY SHAREEN.. though u can see but still happy birthday.. hmm.. realli mess up everything.. but.. hmm.. lets not talk about it.. mi nothin much to blog.. juz wanna wish my god-mum happy birthday and also hope tat eunice will b real happy being with him.. I may not be realli happy but.. i will b cuz my happiness is for other to b happy.. icicle.. u know my studies are gettin from bad to worse.. i dun think i can make it for O lvl.. let alone poly.. i'm realli runnin out of stamina and the motivation in life.. Hmm.. wad ever it is.. i will try.. FOR MY OWN SAKE!! CHEERS!!!!!!!!! i'm realli sleepy lo.. sian.. mi go play play le.. gotta go out later bb..

8:42 AM

09 May 2006

ARGH!! F... F... U MAN.. icicle.. i wanna trash.. i'm burnin.. i'm hurt.. y do u have to do this to urself.. Y! love is blind? hey wake up.. this is too blind le.. layin finger on a female is already out of this world.. u still stand to him.. ARGH!! i realli have nothin to say le.. What authority do i have to talk.. U are never gonna listen to wad i say.. i dun mind if i can never b with u.. i juz wanna see u happi.. this is not happiness.. WAKE UP! PLEAE!! I BEG U!! find a better guy.. he does not deserve ur love.. sweet talk.. who also can do.. come on.. find other one that realli love u.. not juz say this and do that.. he never trusted u.. he love u? he will not slap u.. even if u drive a knife into him.. cheated on him.. anything u can think of a guy can never lay a finger on a female.. forget him.. please.. forget him.. if u wan mi out of ur life to forget him i will.. juz dun go back to him.. stay strong.. if u need someone to talk to i'm always here..

3:20 PM

07 May 2006

Sigh... this is how i'm gonna start my post.. guess u should know y ba icicle.... it's all written on u.. pain.. sorrow.. and also eh... bit bit of tears.. haha.. tears.. wad are that.. an jing.. i never get tired of it.. cuz it realli reflected my life.. sort of.. hmm.. i know tat u knew.. but i had to put up a strong front.. cuz i never wanted to show myself.. u and all the other my weak side.. i may sound negative.. this is cause i'm still bleedin.. confidence.. at least now i stand up for myself.. anyway lets not talk bout tat.. so icicle.. i'm gonna complain again.. so do u think i should end my journey here.. cuz a end is but another start.. is it gonna realli stop hurtin once i end.. or will it start as a new journey for mi to regret to let go the older journey.. i realli hate complainin.. but i cant help it.. icicle.. althought she never turn back.. at least now i can see her shadow.. even it is a glimps i'm happi enuf.. i dun realli dun dare to hope for more.. cuz the scar is still bleedin.. u remember the video of an jing u once sent mi.. i still remember the most meaningful thing it once said.. let mi translate k.. hmm.. ok here it goes.. the god created man.. and from this man they took out a piece of their bone.. and thus god created female.. finally towards the end of the flash.. the guy said his chest slowly hurts more and more.. haha.. haiz.. y am i even sayin this.. numb? soon i guess.. hopefully soon.. cuz it still hurts so much.. sorry if i lie to anyone that i said i felt numb long ago.. this is because i had to cheer u all up.. u see when everyone is in love they become so happi.. writin at their msn nick. all those sweet sweet things... true it is realli very sweet.. but when they are hurt.. this sweet words change to word tat even hell fear of.. this is y when some ask when i am with that.. i do not wish to write the name but those smart enuf should know.. anyway.. i had never change my nick.. cuz i still feel lonely.. sweet talk.. haha.. i try not to do so much.. flirtin.. hmm.. how does a freak like mi even flirt.. haha.. so.. yup.. this two day have been a long long day.. seems like i am havin three sunday this week.. haix.. yesterday.. play at home.. den go out play.. today... pollin day.. parents at home.. like sunday like tat.. wanna go out early to play also got prob.. wanna play till late also cannot.. haix.. y.. y is it so.. move on.. time... how long.. another 1 year 2 years or 10 years.. it may never end.. retribution..? i dun believe in those... SORRY? is there a need to? i was never angry tat this happen to mi.. i was never blamin anyone.. so y sorry.. being hurt is juz something tat everyone go through rite.. i should b the one sayin sorry.. cuz even this is reality.. i juz cant let it go.. it's in my heart too long.. too long for mi to remove it.. if i have to it is another pain sensation for another few years.. so i rather tat i hidding at one corner helpin u when u need someone to cry on.. den rather b someone who walk beside u yet can never dare to look up to face u.. haix.. i know wad i write are all rubbish.. but hey i still have to dump my feelin some where.. this may sound horriblely negative.. but eh... it will onli b in the blog.. anway thanks for tellin mi how i should change my attitude.. i will try hard to change for my own.. but if i cant i will juz make do with wad i have.. it is realli a long way.. but i will try.. life get tougher and tougher as we get older.. but i will find way to face it.. to say... icicle.. i fall into a crush to easily.. but no matter wad it is i will still carry on.. this is life... wad dun kill u onli make u stronger.. and now i'm gettin stronger.. haha.. though my heart my race even typin this post.. but i did carry on.. haha.. this teaches mi one thing too... not being a singaporean doesnt make u any special.. cuz i have the singaporean accent le... haha.. stay here since i was little and young so guess no reason y i'm not almost a singaporean.. but is still funny to see the faces of others when i say i'm not born in singapore.. haha.. k i think i shall end here ba.. hey i will always b here if u need a shoulder to lean on.. to cry on.. or even bite.. pinch or beat on.. k.. haha.. though the day may never come.. but i will still wait.. dun ask mi y.. and dun tell mi to let go.. cuz i have made up my mind.. hope u dun aviod mi ba.. haha.. cuz i realli cant take those kind of shock.. haha.. frial hearted k. haha.. k.. nite nite.. sleep tight k.. sleep tight but comfortable k everyone.. nite... same to u icicle.. nite nite..

11:55 AM

06 May 2006

Icicle.. today sorry to day i'm gonna flood u with stupid feelings again.. but i know u wont mind.. u will never complain like all other do in their heart.. Icicle u know i find myself very very useless.. and i mean VERY u know y i wanna go tp.. yes true one is about the course.. but.. haiz.. no matter wad it has been more den a year.. they say time heals everything.. now for mi time onli make mi worse.. so badly confused.. lost and dunno wad to do.. i may have crushes on people.. but when ever i think again i tend to wanna forget about the crush and concentrate more on... you know.. haix... she definitely wont accept mi.. even if it is to woo her all over again.. this lifetime.. the next and the next i wont mind.. how she look.. fat.. old.. or which ever way u may think of i swear i will love her.. everytime juz thinkin bout her i feel like cryin but i never seem to b able to succeed.. my tears run dry in my eyes.. but in my heart it is continuously bleedin and cryin.. who can heal mi.. i believe no one can.. cuz my door is seal.. i have lost the key.. it is onli her tat will open it up but will it b.. 'ur name has been engrave in my heart' this phrase hmm.. lets not talk bout it.. i shall onli say my heart have nothin else in front of her le.. haha.. i swear i will tell this to who ever i am with.. i have made alot of promises.. and so did i broke as much.. but i realli dunno wad should i do.. puppy love? i guess not a year or two later i will b 18 and 3 after tat 21.. i know the feelin will still b the same.. cuz no one will ever set eyes on beast like mi.. who will wanna walk on the street with someone tat has almost zero fashion senses.. who will wan someone who look like a freak like mi.. WHO WILL? even there is my heart will still b seal.. cuz how many of them realli show mi the care.. tears tat i shed is onli for her... waitin.. is wad my instinct wan mi to do.. givin up is wad i am tryin to do.. haha.. a mixture of laughter and tears.. onli by playin and playin can i forget her.. studies.. have been droppin in standard.. gettin better? i dare not say.. i can onli lie.. u know y.. cuz i cant stop thinkin bout her.. every mornin i wake up i will find my hp.. y? to see if she did call mi and i fell asleep.. i dare not tell her or anyone.. cuz i am afraid.. afraid that she will b gone once again.. i get a undescrbable feelin when i see tat other say they love her more den mi? sure i never know.. but i'm sure two years is not short.. and there are more to come.. hey i know u will b readin this but i still have to tell u.. i realli love u.. my feelings had never change.. true my attitude does.. but my feelings and never change.. haiz.. what is the point u will never look back.. icicle.. u know i am so slow.. u know y.. she was able to recover and run forward so fast.. but i cant.. i'm still crippled.. pullin tryin to pull myself to b next to her.. but no matter how i try it never seems to work.. haiz.. i can onli hope.. tat one day she will turn back and walk with mi.. hope is all i got.. but dream is forever wad this will b.. wad was first a crush.. den a puppy love.. have turn into something tat i can describe tat is onli in mi... every where i go i wanna look out.. to see if i can see her by any chance but i never was able to.. that is y i aim every single course tat i can to get to tp. juz to see her.. true by then she is year 2.. but i hope i can see her.. as for the dream.. this is not disney land.. this is reality.. dreams never do come true.. hope is wad people hold on to.. to work towards there goal.. and not dream.. my goal.. is to work in the onli 7 star hotel in the world... my dream.. to b with u again.. but i know it is never goin to happen.. if it does gonna happen tell mi.. even till i am old.. or even if i am dying.. cuz i will for u will my lie in my death bed.. if it is to wait i will.. cuz i know i will onli love u truely... waitin is all i have.. it is all i ever had.. mayb for mi my love have never come yet.. but i will wait...onli to hope it is u.. if it is not i can onli hope it is a happy one..

2:30 AM

04 May 2006

hi icicle.. long time never write le.. haix.. i'm confuse.. i'm lost and i cant tell u y.. anyway i saw this love story on net.. it was so eh.. sad ba.. haha there was this guy.. eh.. forgotten his name le.. but lets call him ken.. k then the gal i think have almost the same name as u.. she is call ice.. ya.. so is like this the two was a lovin couple.. but some reason or another the guy had to let her go.. haha.. den is like he regretted lo.. haha.. poor him juz like mi become loner.. as for the ice she found another happiness.. so this ken guy he eh... wad happen to him.. oh.. he tried to find himself a happiness too.. but he juz could not forget the ice lo... haha.. den he is realli battered by the fact that he cannot find the kind of love and happiness he had in the past with ice.. haha.. den finalli he found one that he had a strong feelin with but the gal.. eh.. to say lo i dun realli understand but i think the gal did not have much or no interest in him.. he was sad sad lo wad else.. haha.. den the story ended sayin something like " love is like a important organ in our body.. once we missed it or let our love go it will never grow back.." ya something like tat lo.. haha.. anyway today also dunno wad to do.. exam period liao... so sian lo.. haha so eh.. i guess i go play maple lo.. until time to study den go out..

5:21 AM